Monday, 30 September 2013

My offer of $1,000,000 - as promised, the letter from 'Steve'

In response to requests, here is the letter from ‘Mr. Steve’ as promised. This has been posted exactly as it was emailed to me spelling, layout and punctuation mistakes included.  (My email address under Bcc is the only item I have removed.)

I can only imagine how many this was sent to. But then again, if only one person replies, and is unfortunate enough to have giving them their bank details, then I suppose they consider it worth-while.

My response to this email is in the blog post underneath this.



01:02 AM



<No Recipient>



Dear ,

I am  Mr. Steve Williams, a banker by profession, currently working

with  Biao Bank in Abidjan  Cote Divoire.  I am the account manager of

late  Mr. Richard

Shelton,  the formal manager of Cocoa processing industry here in

Abidjan Cote Divoire.

On the 22nd of Dec.2009 ,our customer, his wife and only child

were involved in a ghastly motor accident, where all the occupants of

the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives.

Since then I have made several  inquiries  to  locate any of his

extended relatives or Business partners  and this has proved abortive.

After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to contact you for

your assistance to transfer the sum of( US$2.6 M ) (TWO Million Six

hundred thousand United States Dollars)

that was left behind by our customer in our bank .

The banking Law and guideline of BIAO BANK stipulates that if such

money remained unclaimed for over four years,  the money will be

converted into bank treasury as unclaimed fund.

Therefore i am  contacting you,  for your assistance to transfer the

money to your account.

I have decided to offer you 40 % of the total money for your assistance,

I also want to assure you that this transaction is legal. Therefore

you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements

have been made for the transfer .

Awaiting your immediate response







Please warn anyone you know about this scam.

Saturday, 28 September 2013

I just got offered over $1,000,000!!

What is 40% of 2.6 million Us Dollars???

Well, that’s what Steve Williams, Account Manager of Biao Bank in Abidjan Cote Divoire wants to give to somebody.
Who does he want to give it to?

Well me, he picked me, yes me, to get 40% of a2.6 million U.S. Dollars. It belongs to an account holder who had a tragic death about four years ago.
For what in return  you may well ask?

You see, according to Steve, if relatives or business partners of this account holder can't be found or the money isn’t claimed from their bank after four years, it can be offered to random strangers like me. Just like that!  

I just couldn’t contain my excitement but was concerned. I needed to offer some advice to Steve regarding his search for beneficiaries to the Mr. Richard Shelton fund. I just didn’t think he’d carried out enough searches.

Here’s what I replied to Steve Williams at :

Dear Steve,

I was very sad to hear of the demise of your customer.
40% of 2.6 million U.S. dollars is incredibly generous. I believe that amounts to just over 1 million U.S. dollars or €1.28 million euros. That would mean giving our Government just over €500,000 in gift tax. They will be delighted considering the state of the country’s finances.

I am concerned however, Steve, that you have not carried out enough checks to locate relations for Mr. Shelton's, those that would be considered his rightful beneficiaries. As I understand it, his wife's extended family would also have a right to his money. But you don't say that you have carried out a search for her family.
I feel I should do something to help. So, I have forwarded your details to my contacts in Interpol, the Police Force and the Revenue Commissioners. So, you'd never know, they may locate some relatives or business partners of the late Mr. and Mrs. Shelton.

Also, I would assume that as an account manager at a huge financial institution such as Biao Bank in Abidjan Cote Divoire that you would be afforded a secretary or personal assistant to do your typing for you. Considering the state of the punctuation and type-setting in your email, you either have none or the one you do have needs to be fired.
As you failed to put my name in at the start I shall sign it off with what you did address me as...

Yours Sincerely,
Random Comma.

I wonder if I'll get any further correspondence from 'Steve'.

Monday, 23 September 2013

Poetry's Rich Rewards

Poetry is written for the love of it. The monetary gain aspect of it is a far reaching promise that appears to the rare few.

Recently, a friend asked me to write a poem for her, to give to her husband as a gift. I used to do this a lot when I was younger. I once converted a poem I’d made for a bride on her hen night for the best man to read as a speech. Heavy censoring needed to be done, but it was recited by the best man to huge applause. I’m sure the video is out there somewhere.  Anyway back to the present, I agreed to her request, but she wanted to pay me, this I refused. 

Once she knew I wasn’t taking payment, I sat with pen in hand and asked her for a few details and it was up to her how personal she got. Let me say, she revealed quite a bit. Armed with my information, I left and scripted the piece. I returned shortly, with a four stanza poem for her to give to her husband which was, as such, from her. She was very happy and insisted on paying me again. But, after I refused she then gave me something else as payment… a dozen organic free-range eggs. Reassured with the fact that any hunger pangs would be kept away with my wonderful treat, I carried them home and stocked my fridge.

Later that night I sent her a message wondering how the poem went down with her husband. I can only assume that it was received quite well, because she wanted to know when she’d meet me again to give me more of her organic free-range eggs.

Who says you won’t get rich on poetry, eh.

Tuesday, 3 September 2013

Take a breather and consider….

When you’re writing a scene, as it unfolds in your imagination, do you visualise the weather in the particular scene? If you do, is it largely influenced by the weather conditions you are writing in at the time?

I’ve discovered that if the day is nice outside my window, then that is what I imagine my character to be in, as I work through a chapter or section of my novel or short story. It has come to my attention because Ireland has been having a lot of sunshine lately. Prior to this, I imagined my characters in cold and wet climates, which is typical Irish weather.

Also, does your mood influence what type of story you write, i.e. sad, happy, romantic or creepy? This, I must think about, but generally I find that mood only influences the result, which is either a productive one or not.

Long may the sunny Irish weather continue!