Saturday, 28 September 2013

I just got offered over $1,000,000!!

What is 40% of 2.6 million Us Dollars???

Well, that’s what Steve Williams, Account Manager of Biao Bank in Abidjan Cote Divoire wants to give to somebody.
Who does he want to give it to?

Well me, he picked me, yes me, to get 40% of a2.6 million U.S. Dollars. It belongs to an account holder who had a tragic death about four years ago.
For what in return  you may well ask?

You see, according to Steve, if relatives or business partners of this account holder can't be found or the money isn’t claimed from their bank after four years, it can be offered to random strangers like me. Just like that!  

I just couldn’t contain my excitement but was concerned. I needed to offer some advice to Steve regarding his search for beneficiaries to the Mr. Richard Shelton fund. I just didn’t think he’d carried out enough searches.

Here’s what I replied to Steve Williams at :

Dear Steve,

I was very sad to hear of the demise of your customer.
40% of 2.6 million U.S. dollars is incredibly generous. I believe that amounts to just over 1 million U.S. dollars or €1.28 million euros. That would mean giving our Government just over €500,000 in gift tax. They will be delighted considering the state of the country’s finances.

I am concerned however, Steve, that you have not carried out enough checks to locate relations for Mr. Shelton's, those that would be considered his rightful beneficiaries. As I understand it, his wife's extended family would also have a right to his money. But you don't say that you have carried out a search for her family.
I feel I should do something to help. So, I have forwarded your details to my contacts in Interpol, the Police Force and the Revenue Commissioners. So, you'd never know, they may locate some relatives or business partners of the late Mr. and Mrs. Shelton.

Also, I would assume that as an account manager at a huge financial institution such as Biao Bank in Abidjan Cote Divoire that you would be afforded a secretary or personal assistant to do your typing for you. Considering the state of the punctuation and type-setting in your email, you either have none or the one you do have needs to be fired.
As you failed to put my name in at the start I shall sign it off with what you did address me as...

Yours Sincerely,
Random Comma.

I wonder if I'll get any further correspondence from 'Steve'.

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