Saturday, 9 March 2013

Five Sentence Fiction - Whisper


Time for a new prompt for Lillie’s Five Sentence Fiction. This week the magic word is WHISPER. Check out the other contributions at http://www.inlinkz.com/wpview.php?id=249784


Helpless

Rosie’s body shivered as the cold set in and a damp sensation pooled underneath her helpless body. She didn’t know where the shot came from; she just knew that she would be in serious trouble if she didn’t get help soon.

Hearing footsteps and a familiar voice she called out, “Sam, Sam, help me please“.

He bent down and whispered, “sure I will.”

Standing over her, he raised the gun, firing an exterminating slug into her brain.
Posted by at

13 comments:

  1. Daniel Kaye9 March 2013 at 11:12

    Great piece, Marie - enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jayne Martin9 March 2013 at 13:40

    Oh, my! Well, that certainly took a tragic twist. Very powerful ending.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown10 March 2013 at 08:11

      I appreciate the feedback, Jayne. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

      Delete
  3. Anonymous9 March 2013 at 14:10

    Stunning piece of work!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mary T Bradford9 March 2013 at 15:36

    Marie this is powerful, very well written.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Josie Two Shoes9 March 2013 at 17:13

    Frighteningly believable, every word counts!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown10 March 2013 at 08:13

      Thanks Josie for taking the time to read and comment. I appreciate it!

      Delete
  6. Unknown10 March 2013 at 08:11

    Wow! Didn't expect that ending. A brilliant story told so well in such few words. x

    ReplyDelete
  7. Unknown10 March 2013 at 08:15

    Thank you Lizzie. I left it to the reader to decide whether she was a good person or a 'baddie'.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Unknown11 March 2013 at 15:28

    Thank you Jo-Anne. I used this word to reflect the coldness with which he 'took her out'. I appreciate the feedback.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)